I am changing. I used to think that I needed a guy to be safe. A perfectly responsible thought. When I had a man stalking me in the past, or threatening to hurt me, the police showed up and kept the guy under control, or I’d have whoever I was in relationship with show up, and the persecutor never seemed to get out of control when the other guy was around. Funny isn’t it?
A couple of weeks ago I was meditating, and I saw me as a little girl at about age five in my mind’s eye. She said that she needed a guy to keep her safe. My older self heard this and suddenly everything was making sense. As an adult, I was giving a subconscious assignment or job to take care of me and keep me safe to any man I got in relationship with.
I didn’t like that. That might be one of the reasons my relationships were troubled. I had given them a job. At that moment I decided to take that job away from any man I am with. If he wants to help me that would be fine. They can do what they want, but I am responsible for my own safety. Granted I am petite and that sounds kind of ridiculous, but I have decided that if I am going to make it through this world, that is what I need to do.
Basically I am training to become a warrior woman. My chiropractor and massage therapist are not sure about all of the effort I am going to, but each time I take a step toward warrior woman, the more empowered I feel. Keeyahh!
