I stood in a business meeting feeling less than a ghost. Ghosts at least, well I am assuming this, aren’t existing in shell-shocking pain. A friend came up to me. He encouraged me to take a step toward something I needed to do, but required courage to start.
I turned to my friend and said, “You are right. I should do it, but I am emotionally shot today. I don’t have the strength. Maybe next month.”
He said, “Would it help if I walked over to the person with you and got you started?”
I said, “No.”
He stood there with patience. Kindness. Waiting. Five minutes pass. “Okay,” I said.
He walked me over, stood by my side until he made the introduction, and made sure that I was all right. Then he left. That sounds like a small thing, but it wasn’t. The support and comfort I received from that one gesture drove me to tears—for hours.
Yes, I have Dad issues. I have rarely, if ever, experienced a man saying by actions, “You are worth it. I will grant you the support you need by standing by your side until you find the strength to move forward. I know you will get this.”
Sometimes this world is so cruel and mean that it is shocking to receive support. I don’t think I knew support existed any more. I am too used to someone trying to get something, or not caring, or judging me for the position I am in, or leaving me.
I turned to him as we waited and said, “Thank you.”
He shrugged and said, “This is what friends do.”
That action—being there—holding the space for me—standing by my side and strengthening me to take a life-changing action, was more comforting than I can explain, and I am not quite sure why.
But it has changed me.
Has this ever happened to you — getting unexpected and welcome support from a friend?