So I am told that there are stages of love.  All these love experts have varying opinions, but one of the opinions that I heard is that most beginning relationships don’t even make it past three months. They say that in the first three months the budding romance couple goes from “fun flirting” to “oh, shit this might actually work.”

A lot of people freak at this point, or they find that they have too many differences with the other person, or … or … or… many things.  Then if the couple transforms from that stage, at some point they will fall into the steady dating stage.

I’ve heard lots of warnings that women will “assume” they are steady when that might not be the case with the guy.

Statistically that may be the case, but for me, when I was dating my first husband,  I asked him what the status of our relationship was?  Were we dating other people or just each other? He asked me if I wanted to date other people.  I shrugged and said, “I don’t know.  Not necessarily.”  Then a few exchanges passed between us, and boom he proposed.

So personally, me asking where the relationship was going, was asking for trouble. My second husband had proposed to me so quickly I didn’t even know who he was, or who I was for that matter, and he kept proposing until I finally gave in.

My boyfriend just declared he wasn’t dating anyone else and waited patiently until I stopped dating.  It was a good trick on his part.  I felt sooo guilty even talking to another guy when I had a faithful, kind, and supportive man back home. I sensed that my dating was hurting him.  I didn’t want to hurt him so I committed to him.

The next phase is when you become more of a team.  Lives start blending, secrets start spilling, and the couple is becoming more of an “us” without either party really realizing it is happening.

Then of course there is engagement and marriage.  According to one of the relationship experts I was listening to the other day, if the engagement doesn’t happen somewhere between the 18-22 months, the chances for marriage are almost non-existent.

I’ve been with my guy for 18 months.  Ahhhh.  Ticking clock.  If I don’t get him to shove the ring on my finger in four months, I could kiss marriage good-bye. Talk about stress.  Got to get the ring… get the ring… get the ring.

Hey, wait a minute.  Of course I want the ring, but do I want the marriage???? Seriously, I have no idea where I even stand on the concept of that sort of institution.   I’ve been trying to figure this out for two years and it still hasn’t happened.

Hmmm. I am not so sure I like this pressure coming from what the experts are saying.  Do you think it is true? Do you think that getting the ring is important? Do you think I should just forget the damn ring and go buy my own damn ring and put that on my finger and just be married and committed to myself?


An Intense, Emotional Journey

Silent Cries

Charlene believes she’s an ordinary housewife and mother with ordinary challenges. Gradually, she comes to realize her marriage isn’t healthy and that her husband’s treatment isn’t normal. Relying only on her own courage and the help of a few friends, she struggles to free herself and her children from a relationship that has turned their lives into a living nightmare.


Can Love Survive Friday the 13th?

The Superstitious Romance Friday the 13th has always been unlucky for history professor Camille Britain, and this one doesn’t seem any different. In an effort to escape her failed marriage, Camille is renting a cabin in beautiful Island Park, Idaho, where she meets wildlife photographer Jackson Armstrong, who scoffs at her superstitious ways and infuriates her with his offers of help.