An advantage of being married three times is that I have way more perspective on relationships and men than people who have been married only once.  For example, I was talking to a lady the other day who was older and extremely upset that her husband wasn’t meeting her needs. I asked her if she hits her husband metaphorically with the stick of the needs she wanted him to meet?

“No,” she said. “He should take the time to know what I need.”

I laughed hard. I mean hard. I know it sounds rude, but seriously, what man actually knows what a woman needs? That comment was totally funny.

I smiled at her and said, “I look up at my husband and ask him if I can have a passionate kiss.  You know, a kiss that lasts at least thirty seconds?”  I even raise eyebrow because that is suppose to be sexy, but every time I do it, even with him, he laughs.

The lady looked at me, “Really? You say that?”Screen Shot 2015-10-08 at 5.41.54 PM

Of course. I am not going to sit around waiting for  the rare chance that my husband actually thinks of  what I need. Why not give the clueless man a break and just lay it out on the table?

Besides, when I come up to him and say, “Hey sexy man, could I get a hug?” There’s never been a time he didn’t puff up, smile and give me a hug.  I got my needs met, and so what if I actually asked for it? I didn’t do it in a shaming, disgraceful way, but in a quirky way, plus I get to be myself doing it.

Sometimes I will go up to my husband and say, “You know what I love?”

“What?” he asks with dread dripping from his voice.

“The fact you are a real man. The way you come up to me and hook your arm around me—ohhh— makes me feel so loved.”

He’ll blush and not say anything, but within the day I get the arm hooked around me.  I am getting the attention that I want, and am having fun.  Isn’t that better than sitting around waiting for lightning to strike that tired man who often lives in the –I am thinking nothing box?